We Need A Dream ~ Don Carl Quixote, Chief Dreamer ~ a New Constitution, a New Declaration of Independence, a New Bill of Rights, a New Tax System, a New National Monument, a U.S. Dept. of Peace, Love and Well-being, Miracle Technology.

I feel strongly driven to add some of my own thoughts and feelings about our present world, what's needed, and some explanation of where I come from. These are my own personal perspectives, and do not necessarily reflect the views of our group.

Several personal crises and depressions over the last sixteen years have dramatically altered my entire being, resulting in world and life perspectives very different from most… and even different parts of myself. Paradox, complexity, and mystery are three words that best summarize my current perspective… stunned at how little I knew in the past (and how much I thought I knew)."Uff Da" might be an even better summary.

But before going into more perspectives, let's share some of "my story".

For the first three and a half decades of my mortality, I had very few crises, problems, or fears. I was extremely successful in school, work, sports, and other. My life was rich beyond belief, despite being surrounded by people with severe challenges: e.g. Dad lost his sight (and more) when I was eight, Mom had health and worry issues, live-in grandma experienced several devastating blows, aunt had severe MS, etc. My riches were in opportunities, freedom, trust, love, and more… and a very unique era, city, and ethnic culture (i.e. 50's/60's, Madison WI, Norwegian farmers and small businessmen): polka dances, great humor and bantering, hard working (and playing), great values and models, Euchre, lefse, krumkaka, rumagrauten… and lutefisk (I can't believe anyone could even be around it, much less eat it. But that's Norwegians. Ya Shuure.)

Money was tight, but not tight enough to stop me from what I really wanted. Two paper routes, other jobs, and very creative use of money… got me what I needed (and made me greatly love and appreciate what I had).

Buses, bike, and feet (and a thirst for exploring) took me everywhere… probably experiencing ten times that of most kids. Surrounded by lakes, beaches, skating rinks, sledding hills, factories, railroads, marshes, junkyards, active playgrounds, small stores, great libraries, and a cabinet shop behind our house… it was a dream for a young boy. Boy scouts, choirs, band, orchestra, YMCA, Turners, DeMolay, paper routes, swim team, rifle team, yearbook photographer… were just a few of my activities. Visiting and working on farms throughout Wis. and N. Dakota… was warm, rich, and grounding.

I saw beauty in everything and everybody, finding fun or art in what most saw as destructive or ugly. Diving into dumpsters, crawling into dark dirty places, building forts, playing in mud, odd pets (toads, pigeons, chickens, guppies, spiders…), abandoned buildings, squeezing under RR bridge (as train passed a foot overhead), painting my sister (vs. painting the house), crash derbies, teasing girls (the ones I liked), disassembling the TV, sawing the kitchen cabinets, sitting the playground instructor on the "bubbler" fountain, throwing water balloons at cars (even an unmarked police car), "cruising" the capitol square (with my older friends), "snarking" parked lovers, punching out a glass door (when my sister wouldn't let me in), getting bloodied everything… just a "few of my favorite things". Plus all the other normal kid things. Oh, what a divine life! (although naïve and irresponsible).

Music, art, photography, and dance came naturally to me… excelling with little effort or practice (much to my older sister's chagrin).

Television, movies, and music of that era were so innocent and idealistic… having a powerful (and intoxicating) impact on me: pro and con… as I'll explain later.

My number and diversity of friends stuns even me upon reflection. I mixed well with everybody from top achievers to semi delinquents… having few arguments and only once approaching a physical fight (a minor wrestling struggle). But I did love putting on the gloves for a friendly bout.

My teachers and family loved me (and vice versa)… telling me that my joy, energy, and success kept my parents going during some VERY dark years (calling me "The Roadrunner"). I graduated first out of 500 in high school, receiving many awards in and out of school (e.g. Eagle Scout, DeMolay Chevalier, spelling champion, top paperboy, solo clarinet and sax, top marksman, etc.)

As I moved into college years, life got even richer, thanks to a very diverse and fun school (U of Wis), opportunities to kayak, ski, sail, backpack… and to play in a marching band that defies description, having now become a legendary "dream come true".

Upon graduation near the top of my electrical engineering class, I became part of several other "dreams come true": Silicon Valley, Hewlett-Packard, and Stanford Univ. (going to grad school part time)… plus getting married. I was in heaven… a new culture, climate, wonderful company and peers, great professors, mountains, ocean, new foods, wineries, etc. etc. etc. And I got paid for working far less than I did in school!… at a job that was like a toy store to a little kid… with free toys, supplies, lunches, and more! And I was working on legendary products (handheld calculators) with legendary people (i.e. pioneers of HP, and Steve Wosniak … before he left to create Apple Computer)!

A few years later found my HP division and I in Corvallis, Oregon… another dream come true for me. Whitewater kayaking, skiing, soccer, volleyball, swimming, racquetball, road biking, mountain biking (in the mud), sailboarding, in-line skating (long before Roller Blade existed), backpacking, snow camping, wilderness canoeing, gourmet cooking, gardening, home improvements, car repair (fun), dog training (field trials), skeet shooting, fun classes (e.g. dance), HP par course /weight room/soccer field, great library, U-pick produce… all easily accessible (with no traffic) and superb quality (enhanced by total freedom in my work hours and lots of fun business trips). And a marvelous self-service produce stand where we made our own change! (How's that for trust?)

And life was just warming up.

I found myself evolve into two ventures simultaneously which absolutely consumed me with excitement and energy…
1) a five event race unique to that region (downhill ski, XC ski, bike, kayak, run) …training and playing with Olympic caliber athletes (e.g. Bill Koch, Dan Simoneau… Olympic XC ski team)
2) the development of inkjet printing technology (being part of the original team) …with top notch people who loved our project and loved each other (with our best work occurring on restaurant napkins or while we were canoeing ,skiing, or drinking together). Incredible synergy.

This occurred on top of having two young children, and many other responsibilities. This was the most intense time of my life. I'm now stunned at how much I juggled, and seemingly succeeded… by most measures.

However…
Things were not as I thought.

A change of bosses turned heaven into hell… getting severely slammed, unexpectedly, and demoted from my project manager role for the first DeskJet printhead (a job that was way too much for any one mortal, much less a new manager without training). They replaced me with two experienced managers, who were still stretched.

But… I got a new opportunity to get myself even further over my head: creating a new OEM program to sell print cartridges (and design support) to makers of specialty printers (i.e. non-computer). I loved it and fit well… interacting with eager and hungry sales force and customers worldwide. My ego was flying high, being highly regarded and called upon for many critical issues, especially "putting out fires". The peak came when I was personally called to diagnose and solve a problem that threatened a critical strategic partnership with Canon, with travel to Norway and Japan, advising high level people on both sides.

I was flying… in the ozone and beyond.

However…
Things were not as I thought.

Three near fatal accidents in one year were my first warnings (car, bike, and kayak). A severe reaction to the 87 market crash was another. Unexplained panic attacks were more warnings. Then loss of my two passions (drugs?) left me without direction or purpose (my racing goals were met, and my OEM program was canceled… because it was too successful, requiring more resource than HP could spare from its primary business: HP printers). Reading Scott Peck's "Road Less Traveled" made me see (in horror) how completely self-indulgent and egocentric I had become. Depression and confusion engulfed me… dragging me into my spiritual search.

However…
Things were still not as I thought.

Fifteen years of marriage without a quarrel led me to believe we had a perfect marriage. Yet… I found myself unexplainably resentful or disgusted with my spouse, because of many issues (e.g. division of responsibilities, attitude, etc). Yet… I had a difficult time expecting her to do more: she had allergies, chronic fatigue, and other physical limitations that more and more prevented her from contributing and living. And then major surgery. Little did I know that St. Helens (i.e. spouse) was about to erupt… with power and fury that left me quivering and shocked (for years). Hindsight shows that we were nitro and glycerin, just waiting for the flashpoint to be reached: I was oblivious to her needs and any form of subtle or indirect communication; and she was unwilling or unable to be direct/forceful about anything uncomfortable. Even now, I don't know whom I married (despite four intense years of joint and separate counseling).

The next sixteen years were a roller coaster of the biggest scariest kind:
-with four long periods of severe depression… plus terror, shame, rage, grief, etc
-relentless remorse over choosing the wrong career, spouse, lifestyle, and more
-several massive "screw-ups" (each causing the next)
-two gut wrenching divorces (from spouse and HP)
-three periods of hospitalization (psyche ward)
-a long series of electric shock treatments
-two years living like or with "street people"
-severe anguish for the pain of others (almost every group or symptom possible)
-even more anguish for the pain caused by "normal" people, companies, nations
-even more anguish for the pain that I caused others… even my precious princess
-an extreme battle with suicide demons
-an even bigger battle with God
and…
-an even bigger battle/search for purpose, meaning, peace, love, Jesu,
Yahweh… and LIFE

Yet… there were many hidden blessings in all this:

-incredible diversity of experiences, places, people, books, classes, healers, etc
-life-opening opportunities to "dance with dragons" (both with burns and ballet)
-awesome alchemy of transmuting errors, problems, even tragedies… into treasure
-extensive exposure to vast ranges (pro and con) of beliefs, religions, and lifestyles
-wide wakeup to huge ignorance, arrogance,and righteousness in 'experts' of all types
-immense importance of right-brain pursuits in healing, living, learning, and knowing
-excruciating awareness of man's massive misuse of power, money,knowledge,'stuff'
-critical need to own our problems and confront our enemies … with love
-tear-jerking compassion for suffering and persecuted souls of all types
-intense identity with the awful agony of pathfinders like Moses,David, Jesus,Lincoln
-humbling gratitude for the immense gifts and people who had graced my life
-stunning awe for the power of love to transmute anything
-mysterious wonder at the complexity, challenge, and paradox of effective love
-breathtaking glimpses of miracle seeds in everything and everybody
and…
-indescribable drive to transmute our world's nightmares into
"Heaven on Earth"

Plus...

***Magic everything***

adventures

dragons

witches

angels

p r i n c e s s

castle

miracles

healings

serendipity

and more

The result:

An absolute ‘fly or die’ commitment

To make amends
for the many massive hurts I caused
or allowed
while I was selfishly focused on myself…

Raising every ounce of courage, light, and love
from the depth of my soul,
kindred souls,
the soul of God,
and God’s creation…

To fully embrace and live
all the words
(and words unwritten)
in this quest of quests
and God’s grand quest
seeking/sharing truth, love, and life
like never before

This is my quest
to follow that star
no matter how hopeless
no matter how far

To fight for the right
without question or pause
to be willing to march into hell
for a heavenly cause

And I know
if I'll only be true
to this glorious quest
that my heart
will lie peaceful and calm
when I'm laid to my rest

And the world
will be better for this
that one man
scorned and covered with scars
still strove
with his last ounce of courage
to reach
the unreachable stars

YES, I believe in magic
YES, I believe in you
YES, I believe in all mankind
Together, we can make this true

We ARE the dreamers
We ARE all one
We ARE the love and light of God
Our battles will be won

I AM... Don Carl Quixote
I AM... transmuting/transcending
I AM... becoming and being
I AM I AM I AM

My Story and Perspectives - Part II
"Searching for Meaning"

My spiritual search has been about the most roundabout convoluted path I can imagine… as briefly outlined Part I. I am rather stunned that I am still alive. Rather than go into the complete story, I will highlight and comment on some of the key aspects (including some new aspects to Part I).

I was brought up in a Norwegian Lutheran church, rich in fellowship, but rather shallow in spirituality. Activities and music were wonderful, as were the people. However, I drifted away in high school, lured by rich or exciting opportunities and responsibilities everywhere else.

I married a Catholic spouse and attended Catholic services (for her sake), but found little depth until many years later (through not well known aspects of Catholic faith). I DID enjoy their folk masses (always sitting close to the musicians so I could sing harmony) and their casual atmosphere. Yet… I also found myself drawn to the ritual of their occasional formal masses (e.g. Christmas Eve). But I did no study of their faith or the Bible until my big crash in '88.

After my crash, I groped everywhere for direction, from the secular to the spiritual. One of my very first actions was to randomly open the Bible… first to the story of Job (which made me even worse), and then to the Beatitudes (which felt very comforting). However, I quickly exhausted the Bible's ability to help me, finding it very inadequate for today's world, and not satisfying my deep longing to understand the man who brought new teachings to the world 2000 years ago.

I embarked on an all-out search to better understand him.

At the same time, some writings came to me (via my wife and our Catholic marriage encounter group) about reported apparitions of Mother Mary in Medjugore, Yugoslavia. Despite my repulsion to all the Catholic adoration of Mary and other saints, I had a powerful response to her words, and a deep inner knowing that these apparitions (and her words) were true. What to do with them was my question.

The next few years found our family making two pilgrimages to Medjugore plus many other large gatherings related to Mary and miraculous healings. We even visited the Vatican (seeing the Pope) and Assisi, home of my favorite saint… Francis.

During this time, I read voraciously… including secular self-help, spirituality of all kinds, and some very special (and not well known) writings about THE MAN. Perhaps the most powerful was a massive five volume work called "The Poem of the Man God" by Maria Val Torta. This work was supposedly dictated by Jesus himself to Maria during the 1940's, visually appearing and speaking. He spoke in two modes: one, telling his story in far more depth than the Bible; two, commenting on what he really intended and how it applies to modern day. I was entranced like never before, feeling I had an unbelievably special gift, too precious to share with anyone. I felt a connection to him and his words that defies description.

A few other books during that time gave me almost as powerful reactions: "The Aquarian Gospel of Jesus the Christ" by Levi, "Life and Teachings of the Masters of the Far East" by Spaulding, and "New Teachings" by Essene. All of them gave me entirely new perspectives and awakenings about THE MAN and his teachings, as well as other spiritual revelations.

Yet… despite all these revelations and growth, my marriage and career deteriorated and eventually collapsed. I had an insatiable hunger to explore vast new worlds that were severely lacking in my worlds of that time.

After my divorce in '92, I started exploring a vast range of religions and beliefs, from very fundamental to radical New Age. More than just studying the beliefs, I attempted to understand the people of these faiths, what drew them, and what was needed to connect and blend all these polarized groups. Little did I know what I was getting into. Nothing has ever challenged me more than dealing with religious righteousness. Science and technology seemed like kindergarten in comparison.

Someday, I'll go into more depth about these experiences. Part of me wishes I could go back and take a totally different path, staying out of all that horrendous horror. But another part of me keeps pulling me even deeper into what repulses me most: righteous zealots of all types, whether religious, political, intellectual, or other. I'm convinced that these forces present the absolute single greatest danger to our world survival today… but also offer us our greatest opportunity to create heaven on earth.

So here I am… like it our not: attempting to dance with the absolute worst of my dragons, demons, and disgusting mortals (including me).

But going back to my story…

After my career divorce in '95 (more painful than my marital divorce), I fell into severe depression, feeling I'd screwed up beyond repair, unable to find a way out. I retreated into virtual isolation, barely able to function... not showering, answering mail, and barely eating. I grasped at radical healing of all kinds (shamanic soul retrieval, psychics, hypnotherapy, etc) with no success. Eventually, I gave up... letting mainstream psychiatrists take over... with a vast range of drugs, hospitalization... and finally... electric shock treatments. Still no help. I screamed in anguish, feeling totally abandoned and betrayed by God and self... pounding holes in the walls, seeing no way out... even suicide... for I knew that suicide makes things worse for everyone... including my own eternal soul.

It hurts just to recall this anguish and utter despair.

Finally, after about nine months of this hell, I stumbled on a thread of hope. During my extended journey to hell, I relived every part of my past (repeatedly)... realizing what an incredibly rich life I had had... and how many wonderful gifts, opportunities, and people had blessed my life. I felt that I could not "check out" before I had at least expressed my gratitude to these many precious souls.

That single choice began my recovery.

Just having a goal gave me renewed energy and clarity. Over the next several months, I searched for contact information for almost 200 people who had most impacted my life... going all the way back to grade school teachers. I wrote very personal letters from the heart to every one... using calligraphy and very exquisite stationery. With this project came a renewed will to heal, learn, and live.

I dove into reading like never before... on every conceivable topic... from the traditional secular to the esoteric spiritual. Healthy diet and exercise became a powerfully driving force. Exploring holistic healing modalities was close to obsessive. Attending many churches and other spiritual gatherings was life-giving.

The 200 letters... most never got sent... feeling drawn to contact these people more directly... which I did over the next two years... involving two car trips around the country... reaching all but a handful I couldn't find or who had died.

That process alone was miraculously healing. Expressing gratitude was amazingly transforming. Sharing my story opened hearts and connection like nothing I'd ever experienced. And making amends with those I'd hurt (or had hurt me) was indescribably freeing.

Two other healing and liberating actions amplified the recovery:
First: giving away or selling virtually all of my belongings... putting love and effort into the process like that of letting go of a cherished pet or child (including ritual).
Second: moving to the magically healing community of Flagstaff, Arizona...where I immersed myself in a holistic community, volunteer work, healthy diet/exercise, befriending street people (and other struggling souls), and exploring the breathtaking nature of the Southwest (mostly alone and on foot... often BAREfoot). Connection with the elements (with wonder, awe, and ritual) was magically healing... especially when ALL of my senses where fully engaged.

In addition to bringing me vast new friends, experiences, and perspectives... serendipity brought me a wonderful "princess" who became a critical part of my healing and joy. We shared an unbelievably rich diversity of experiences and travels... from the silly to the sacred, secular to spiritual, simple to profound. I discovered aspects of living that I never even new about, much less experienced. Serendipity (or synchronisity) became an everyday expectation.

Then, more serendipity brought me the most profound segment of my life... moving to a magical castle... with my precious princess... in the City of Angels... one block from a massive mountain wilderness.

I was in heaven.

Ironically, Los Angeles was a city I had avoided all my life... feeling it was the worst of everything (e.g. sprawl, decadence, pollution, frenzy, etc). Yet... living there brought me an entirely new perspective (and love) of this marvelous miracle... and home of dreams come true (e.g. Disney, Hollywood, etc). I found the best and worst of everything and everybody... totally reversing my past biased and ignorant perspectives. I found rich spiritual communities (amidst the most hedonistic), amazingly unused wilderness (next to mass metropolis), marvelously fresh produce (despite the overcrowded and polluted surroundings), and a dream come true castle... for the creators... and for me.

This castle (Rubel Castle) is a testament to the miraculous power of shared dreams... when combined with love (but not the drippy or artificial kind of love that dominates most professed seekers and workers of love). Michael (Mykee) Rubel was a little boy who never grew up (nor wanted to), by his own statements. His passion was building forts... using junk from the local dump. He and his friends kept building bigger and bigger forts... until one day (in their twenties)... they decided to build "the big one". Using junk, salvage, donated materials, and volunteer labor... they embarked on a 30 year adventure to build what still takes my breath away... Rubel Castle. What's more incredible than the results is the process... and the obstacles they overcame. I would need an entire book to give any degree of justice to this miracle (Read "One Man's Dream - The Spirit of Rubel Castle" by Traversi).

Only seven of us (besides King/Janitor Michael and Queen Kaia) were privileged to live in this breathtaking castle, along with geese, chickens, dogs, cats, horses, peacocks, and raccoons. It also was blessed with a dozen different fruit trees... and unlimited year round avocados (ahh... heaven). It was definitely not for everybody... but it was beyond perfect for me.

Yet... little did I know that a worse hell than ever was ahead of me.

After seven years of this heaven (following my previous hell), "atomic" disaster hit... sending me into an indescribable two year hell that I am only now emerging from (Spring 04).

The trigger... discovering some old files from my Hewlett-Packard days (during my first "crash" in 88). These files contained a number of proposals and inventions that (in hindsight) were absolutely inspired... but that I never shared... with anyone. I went into paralyzing shock, horror, fear, and grief beyond measure. The more I "processed" them, the worse I got. None of my normal coping skills, healers, and friends helped me... despite desperate attempts at each. Of particular horror was a business proposal I wrote... that "might" have transformed the world of business... and the world.

I happened to be a very unique position at a very unique time... when Hewlett-Packard was just introducing their revolutionary inkjet printing technology. I was part of the original development team (described earlier in this story), but had recently moved into Marketing... first in applications and then to play a key role writing the business plan for this groundbreaking technology. Most of us recognized the incredible power of what we had and what impact it would have on the marketplace. And because of barriers to entry by competitors (e.g. patents, capital investment, expertise), we stood unchallenged... except for another part of HP that was introducing the laserjet printers... but mostly for different market segments.

Between these two technologies, HP had the power to completely dominate the exploding world of computer printers. And it did... over the next decade... taking an unheard of market share (near 80%) of a HUGE market. They could barely keep up with demand, building new factories around the world, working around the clock, seven days a week. Compounding this was the concept of highly profitable disposable (and proprietary) print cartridges (both inkjet and laserjet... a virtually endless market from print-hungry consumers.

Why this long story?

While part of me was caught up in the excitement of this "golden goose", another part of me said "Wait. Aren't we getting greedy?" And I wrote a proposal to that effect... to limit our growth, raise prices (and profits), and use the windfall profits for many philanthropic and beneficial purposes... setting an example and challenge to other corporations to do the same.

Because HP and its visionary founders were highly respected as perhaps THE shining light of stewardship and healthy practices, and because the unique culture of HP (e.g. talent and love) still existed at that time, and because I was highly respected and in a uniquely influential position (at the right time)... my proposal "could've" changed our (HP) direction... and ultimately transformed the world... from "greedy and exploiting predators"... to caring and contributing stewards of life. (How's that for breaking all grammar rules?).

This "might-have-been" scenario locked me in the fires of hell... and beyond... nonstop... for two years.

At the same time, I saw horrendous signs of apocalypse everywhere... with humanity on a blind path to destruction... with my beloved HP (and my blunder) leading the way.

I grasped without success for ways to transmute "my blunder" and the ways of the world... but finding nothing... feeling WAY WAY WAY over my head... in the face of the biggest scariest horrendous dragon of all time. I irrationally grasped for a time machine... as the only solution I could find... not just to 1988... but all the way back to childhood... to reverse countless "errors" in my life that I only now recognized: e.g. adolescent indiscretions, choice of career, choice of spouse, choice of lifestyle, etc etc. "How could I have been so stupid, and blind, and irresponsible? Why didn't God guide me? Why have you betrayed me, God? Help! Help! Help! Eliminate me... please! Eliminate my soul... not just my life. The pain is too severe" etc etc etc.

I saw no solutions among healers, experts, friends, and family... having gone way beyond their understanding and capabilities.

I wanted the absolute impossible... whether the time machine or to single-handedly "save the world". And even "saving the world" didn't seem enough. How could I ever heal the anguish of the horrendous pain I had allowed or created to others... and the world.

SCREAMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So....
This quest and dream
are my last ditch attempt
to do what I can
no matter how hopeless
no matter how far

Can I succeed?
Can WE succeed?
At what?
And how?

I really don't know

Part of me truly believes we can
IF (a BIG IF)...
humanity will truly embrace
the REAL principles of love
FAR beyond the love of today
FAR beyond the choices of today
FAR beyond the beliefs of today

We MUST open to new paradigms
letting go our pride
and fear...
taking risks
working hard...

at the REAL work...

disarming the REAL enemy...

WITHIN

(e.g. blame, avoidance, righteousness, etc.)

That is the only REAL solution
to the massive problems we face

We MUST love our enemies
as the masters have spoken
if we wish to survive
much less transcend

Why do we ignore these masters
while professing to believe in them?

Hypocrisy?

Cowardice?

Worse?

We MUST walk the talk, America

Yes, it will hurt
but as Jesus said
and others have taught:
"It will be worth it"

Who will join with me
and others before me
on this "impossible dream"
this "impossible quest"?

Who will love enemies
no matter their crime
no matter the cost
no matter our pain?

Who will walk this talk
and do this work
to learn REAL love
especially TOUGH love?

Who will believe
in the miracles long promised
by Jesus and others
of Heaven on Earth?

Who will face the devil himself
the devil within
of pride, greed, and sloth
and admit our own faults?

Stand up, America
and live our true calling
of greatness unheard of
beyond violence appalling

Stand up, America
and love one another
and love painful work
and love our Earth Mother

Stand up, America
and discover true honor
in humility and service
amending DIS-honor

Stand up, America
and come home to God
who needs our help also
to help those abroad

Stand up, America
and see God within
and stop attacking those
who believe in this "sin"

Who has the courage
and wisdom and drive
to take this high path
and be truly ALIVE?

Is it you my dear Christians
or Muslims or Jews
or is it the "heathens"
who connect with Earth's dew

Is it you my dear Buddhists
or Taoists or Hindus
or is it the atheists
who choose to just DO?

Is it you my dear capitalists
or leaders or teachers
or is it the "scum"
we call terrorists and leachers?

It's time for new thinking
letting judgment fall back
and look to new answers
for all that we lack

And let us be "children"
with wonder and awe
to reclaim true joy again
in the miracle of ALL

Yes, we can do it
Yes, we can win
this battle of battles
if we seek deep WITHIN

Opening to New Paradigms

I strongly believe that humanity is at the most precarious point EVER in the history of this world… with only a few years left to choose between total breakdown and unprecedented breakthrough. More specifically, I think we only have two to three years to make the commitment and less than ten years to demonstrate some significant results.

Heavy?
Absurd?

Can you afford to ignore it... even if absurd?

Incredible new paradigms are possible if we make major changes… starting with relaxing our rigid righteousness. As long as we continue attacking each other (e.g. in politics, business, religion, etc) we are doomed. We MUST learn to confront with love (i.e. carefronting) seeking mutual benefit. And we MUST examine ourselves as co-creator in our problems. And we MUST be more responsible about using our gifts and power for common good.

We the people (as a collective) have put our world at immense risk. Fortunately, there are many visionaries and pioneers finding and showing new paths, but still largely rejected or persecuted by the majority (like Jesus and other pathfinders). We MUST "get the plank out of our eyes" if we are to save ourselves.

We in America are drowning in abundance, and generally don't even realize it. We are spoiled beyond measure, and barely ask why we're hated and attacked by terrorists. We MUST start doing less preaching, blaming, and attacking… and start asking more questions about what is really needed. And perhaps we ask the great teachers themselves (e.g. Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, Moses) to come help us (rather than continuing to cling to writings that may be severely out of date or misinterpreted).

Imagine if these masters appeared together and taught common truths to opposing groups. What if they are willing and waiting to do so… IF enough of us open our hearts and minds enough to accept their messages (especially if painful or controversial)… and humbly ask them to come.

THAT is part of my dream. And I hope and ask from the depth of my soul…
for you and many others to embrace and share it
to sincerely seek what is truly needed NOW
even if it shakes our foundation
and requires massive work

THAT is our path to heaven
whether in this world or the next

May you pray and choose wisely, courageously,
and lovingly.

Don Carl Quixote

Grieving, Forgiving, and Making Amends - Part I

This is perhaps my most difficult challenge... both this subject... and writing about it. I've been consumed in grief, remorse, and shame... sending me into a self-reinforcing spiral to hell... extremely close to suicide.

Professional counselors, clergy, books, drugs, and healers were not sufficient to "save me"... as described in Part II of my story. In the end, I had to reach down deep inside for something I can barely describe or understand... whether it be God, Spirit, intuition, or other... ignoring most outside counsel or expert opinion.

I have become extremely sensitive to unloving and inhuman actions of every kind... from personal to global. Part of me wishes I could return to my blissfully naive past... loving and living life to its utmost. But another part of me feels absolutely driven to help make MASSIVE changes in the world... beginning with motivating humanity to recognize, acknowledge, and grieve for our many many errors and hurtful actions... individually and collectively.

I am firmly convinced that no amount of money, "fixes", or political proposals will do any good until we take this first critical step (above)... INCLUDING TEARS.

THEN, we can begin the process of healing and transmuting.

This is a MUCH more difficult step than most realize, especially in our current society that is dominated by blaming, punishing, and intellectualizing solutions (i.e. scholarly works from the head... vs. the heart).

Even seeking heart-based solutions has its traps and deceptions... especially when combined with religious dogma and charismatic leaders. It is extremely easy to deceive oneself with religious quotes, false humility, endless devotion, and sacrifice... excluding paths and people leading to truth... especially when uncomfortable or difficult.

We (humanity) are truly in the best and worst of times... with unparalleled opportunities... and perils. While many are building the courage to face their inner faults and demons, the majority are still largely in denial, avoidance, blame, etc. The symptoms show up in health, behaviors, and attitudes (personal and collective). "Ye shall know them by their fruits".

We (humanity) have FAR more control of health and circumstances than most are willing to accept, but generally choose to give our power away to leaders, caregivers, and others... and then blame, attack, or punish them when they fall short of being the God that we want them to be.

THE REAL GOD (AND ENEMY) IS IN US

Grieving, Forgiving, and Making Amends - Part II

Grief is perhaps the second most powerful force in the universe (behind love). It can crush the strongest beings, leaving them virtually nonfunctional for long periods... sometimes until death. Coping methods are many, often making worse problems (e.g. numbing the feelings with food, drugs, sex, etc.). Yet... grief can be a doorway to opportunities and life, if the appropriate keys can be found.

Two of the most effective keys in the universe are forgiveness and making amends... especially when combined with humility, gratitude, courage, and faith (i.e. risking the unknown).

We (humanity) have an incredibly unique opportunity over the next few years to unlock the doors to miracles unheard of... and ultimately manifest the long sought "heaven on earth" (whatever that may be). The overwhelming list of problems and crises that face us (individually and collectively) can be our biggest opportunity in history... IF we focus on unlocking the hidden treasures, versus our typical paths of poison (e.g. blame, punishment, avoidance, self-pity, self-righteousness, guarantee, clinging, etc.).

Forgiveness is an essential step... of others, self, and God. For myself, forgiving self and God have been FAR harder than forgiving others, especially when I saw how little was needed to take a FAR easier path... and when feeling hopeless about the next critical step... making amends.

I personally believe that making amends is THE most effective key to transmuting grief to opportunity... and for transmuting our current world nightmares into heaven on earth. However... a MAJOR shift in beliefs, attitudes, and choices is required to make this leap.

We MUST open our minds to very new thinking.
We MUST open our hearts to very new loving.
We MUST recognize the REAL enemy (i.e. ourselves)
We MUST recognize the REAL poisons (i.e. blame, punishment, etc.)
We MUST recognize the gifts in problems and crises
We MUST recognize the God in all (including enemies)
We MUST find and embrace a shared dream

WeNeedaDream.org offers a candidate for such a dream in this website. It is only a seed, and only one of many seeds. I and my cofounders choose to start in the USA, not because of arrogance or superiority, but because we see many unique opportunities in the USA... starting with the horrendous errors we have made. The USA has been given unparalleled gifts and advantages compared to other nations... resulting in a level of power and affluence unheard of... ever. It is now time for the USA to use that power for a greater good unheard of... ever (i.e. help create heaven on earth).

It is time to shift from ego-based domination to heart-based stewardship.
It is time to shift from centralized power to distributed responsibility.
It is time to empower ALL the people to actualize their inner gifts.
It is time to shift blaming to forgiving.
It is time to shift dictating to choice-giving.
It is time to shift punishment to making amends.

It is time to love ALL... including enemies.

Grieving, Forgiving, and Making Amends - Part III

Making amends... seems obvious, right?
Well... yes and no.

If the amends are dictated by others (e.g. parents, teachers, bosses, judges)... no.
If the amends are freewill choices from within... yes.

In the first place, who is qualified to judge right and wrong, much less dictate punishment or amends?

In the second place, do you feel loved or respected when dictated to? How DO you feel? And what is your likely response? ...even if the dictation is "justified" or the same as what you might choose on your own?

It is time to treat "evildoers" with love and respect... regardless of their crime.
It is time to give them an opportunity to make freewill amends.
It is time to shift from right/wrong thinking to cause/effect thinking.
It is time to question ALL of our beliefs, and open to new.
It is time to educate ourselves on what is truly needed.
It is time to truly LISTEN to those who oppose or hate us.

It is time to HELP our enemies...
IF AND HOW THEY WANT IT

There is more opportunity in "cleaning up messes" than if the mess had been prevented... especially if done with others... and even more so if those others are enemies.

WeNeedaDream.org sees a new Declaration of Independence as a marvelous framework for transmuting our collective and individual "messes"... transmuting blame, shame, and grief into hope, peace, and joy.

Yes, it will require work, courage, and strength. Yet... what worthwhile endeavors do not?

Are YOU up to the task?

Despair, Shame, Remorse... and Opportunity

Closely related to grief in paralyzing power are the feelings of despair, shame, and remorse. Yet... hidden deep beneath their terrifying grip are the biggest of opportunities.

What is the key to this hidden treasure? In simplistic terms... LOVE. However, the journey to this key may be extremely difficult, complex, with dragons everywhere (just like in fairy tales).

I believe that humanity is at the most unique crossroads in history, where we have a COLLECTIVE (not just individual) opportunity to unlock the treasure of all time... IF we gather the courage and strength to choose this perilous path of love.

I see the USA in a particularly unique position to champion this quest, NOT because it is better than any others, but because of our massive misuse of power. We Americans have been given unbelievable gifts and advantages compared to other nations, and have used many of them for very hurtful or selfish means. Yes, we have also done many great and wonderful things... for ourselves and our world... but not nearly what we are capable of. There is still time (but not much) to use our gifts to transmute our massive "errors" into a greater good than had we not made the "errors".

Many ancient and modern wisdoms teach of such opportunity.

Our list of opportunities is massive (e.g. see the Trail of Tears page). "But I didn't cause those! " you say. "It's those bastards in Washington! And the greedy capitalists! And the criminals! " etc. etc. Many masters of wisdom teach that we ARE responsible on some level, either through actively creating or passively allowing. Furthermore, the path to heaven requires taking more responsibility... not just for our own actions, but for others. This does not imply rescuing. It starts with intense self-examination.

A list of probing questions and issues for such spiritual pioneers is in the Forum Topics and Essays page

WeNeedaDream.org believes that a new Declaration of Independence is an invaluable way to inspire and unite the American collective on this quest (as described on the Declaration of Independence page).

As Martin Luther King proclaimed...

"I have a dream
that one day this nation will rise up
and live out the true meaning of its creed"

Responsibility and Freedom

The USA is an experiment in freedom,
drawing the most passionate seekers of life and freedom...
unlike any other place or time in history.

The results have been breathtaking...
pro and con.

It's now final exam time.

Are we ready to take on the responsibilities
that go along with freedom?
Or will continue demanding more freedoms
without paying the price?

See Bill of Responsibilities for more.

Past, Present, and Future...
Where's the Balance?

There are many who advocate the power of NOW,
staying in the present, burying the past, etc.
This is topic I would like major public discussion about...
and praying about.

I've seen this philosophy used to avoid responsibility
for past hurts and transgressions...
that may need resolution.
Otherwise,
they have a way of severely crippling the present.

I've also seen this philosophy used to persecute dreamers
of new worlds and life.

Where's the balance?

Getting the Core - My Plea to Humanity

What is REALLY needed?
Why are we here?
Why is life so difficult?
Why are answers so elusive?
Why so much pain and conflict?
Can we finally transcend this?
Is this time truly unique?
Is heaven on earth possible?

This is my strongest possible plea to humanity,
from the depth of my soul,
to come together in humility
seeking love like never before
and new understanding
of each other
and all that is

I beseech you
to let go of all you've believed
at least for awhile
to at least experiment
with new beliefs and choices

I beg you
to risk being hurt
or uncomfortable...
for if we don't
we risk losing ALL

I ask you
to risk the most difficult of love:
CONFRONTING WITH LOVE
those who have hurt you
those who you see hurting others
and the hurts YOU have caused
or allowed

Betrayal...
Oh such a demon
perhaps the most deadly
especially when by loved ones
by one's own self
or by God almighty

Yet...
Could there be a higher purpose?
Could apparent betrayal
be a gift in disguise?

Could betrayal offer us
the greatest of opportunities
to reach heaven
and help others to heaven?

Is there anything else on Earth
that raises more rage
and hate
and hurt?

Is there anything else on Earth
that is more critically needed
than transmuting
such feelings?

Who has the courage
to face such dragons
with humility
and LOVE?

Who are the REAL heroes...
defenders of right
seekers of truth
beacons of light?

What do you REALLY want...
temporary highs
or lasting fulfillment?

What are we doing?
What are we doing?
What are we doing?

Stewardship by Business -
An Essential Key

I see stewardship by business as an absolutely essential key for humanity's survival and transcension. Without it, I see chaos, upheaval, and cleansing unlike anything in recorded history. At the very least, I see a collapse and suffering similar to that of the Soviet Union.

We MUST create a new economic system that seeks benefit for all... based on free choice and love. Systems employing top down force (e.g. laws made by bureaucrats) will NOT suffice.

I see new business that distributes much more power (and responsibility) to ALL the employees or members of an organization. Like government, we have entrusted WAY more power to corporate executives than any mortal can handle.

So what is stewardship? How can it be practiced? Can it work?

I offer only a few seeds for consideration and widespread discussion and experimenting (many different experiments).

I see the key foundation being the seeking of the highest good for all... with balanced exchange of energy. Measuring that exchange of energy is the challenge. And ALL stakeholders must be considered... i.e. employees, customers, suppliers, society, environment, etc.

Many of our common business practices are poison: e.g. max. growth, max. market share, customer is king, lowest prices, non-recyclable products, etc.
Are we truly helping a customer by giving more and more "stuff", at lower and lower prices... to where they are consumed in devalued "stuff", with little time or energy to truly love and appreciate what they have... or what they do with it?

What are peoples' REAL needs?

I would like businesses and others search deep for such needs... and then seek ways to fulfill them... WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY FULFILLING THEIR OWN NEEDS. And I'd like to see businesses WORKING WITH THEIR COMPETITORS AND CUSTOMERS in this quest.

One possibility...
What if business committed at least 10% of profits to philanthropy, with recipients chosen by volunteer (or elected) committees of employees, with matching funds for employee donations, and at least half going to third world. Many businesses have learned that such giving has many hidden benefits... including higher profits.

Another possibility...
What if business raised its prices and reduced market share, focussing more on profits than on size or growth? What if it went beyond money as a measure of profits (e.g. health, well-being, peace of mind). Pioneers like Hazel Henderson, Bill Hewlett, Dave Packard, and others have much to offer us re such thinking.

I see such change in business going hand-in-hand with changes THROUGHOUT society (e.g. Participatory democracy, Bill of Responsibilities, etc.)... with ALL the people participating in co-creating these changes... i.e. sharing in both the freedoms AND the responsibilities.

This IS a very unique time

where we can truly create

Heaven on Earth

Complexity, New Paradigms,and New Attitudes

It's no secret that today's world is EXTREMELY complex, and changing rapidly. However, how complex, and how to manage... THAT has proven elusive to the greatest of minds. In fact, those of great intellect may be at a disadvantage in this age when intuition and heart are rapidly becoming the essential keys to understanding and mastery.

While we no longer burn intuitives and psychics (e.g. witches), there is still very strong persecution, discounting, and ridicule of many such people and beliefs... especially when they appear to challenge traditional religion, science, etc. The attacks are often severe.

If humanity is to survive and transcend, these attacks MUST be transmuted... preferably soon and without more violence (including psychological violence). As emphasized in "Getting to the Core", an essential step is confronting with love... i.e. loving your enemies.

Another essential step (also part of loving enemies) is to humbly listen when confronted, refraining from "fight or flight", and sincerely considering their words and feelings.

Much of what was true in the past (in all subjects) is no longer useful, complete, or correct. Science and spirituality are rapidly converging on common truths. Perhaps the most brilliant physicist I've ever read is Jesus ("Love Without End" by Glenda Green). Despite my very high intellectual performance in all school subjects, and intense study of all subjects (from secular to spiritual) for many years, I am "blown away" by what I don't know, and by how much the so-called "experts" don't know.

There are vast new worlds of knowledge and "knowing" opening up that can transmute virtually ALL of our world problems... IF we will open our minds and hearts to them... AND use them for greater common good.

This change of attitude, while frightening and threatening to many, IS the way to heaven on earth. Jesus and other master teachers have taught this, but been largely ignored or twisted to meet personal agendas and prejudices.

This change of attitude is NOT a quick easy fix, but only the first step on a lifelong commitment to learning and mastering new worlds of being.

The rewards will more than compensate
for the pain and work.

Miracle Technology

Miracle technologies exist that can solve virtually ALL of our world problems, PLUS fulfilling dreams of fantasy. HOWEVER... we will be blocked from understanding or utilizing them until we use them responsibly (e.g. for common good). The majority of today's technologies are being grossly misused... i.e. domination, destruction, waste, sloth, etc. Pioneers and inventors of radically new technologies are severely suppressed and ridiculed by the majority (and those in power).

Some of these technologies are breathtaking... e.g. intergalactic travel, transmutation of elements, unlimited and unpolluting free energy. And some of them are available NOW... if we clean up our act.

Some of these technologies bridge the gap between science and spirituality (as some physicists are discovering)... finding that EVERYTHING is energy, even solid matter (i.e. tiny tornadoes that just appear solid to our physical senses).

Furthermore, we humans have the power to control virtually ANYTHING (via our own energy fields and free will). The key is LOVE... combined with thoughts, feelings, attitudes, beliefs, choices, decisions, imagination, and desire. These create measurable energy fields that impact whatever we focus on... whether that be things, people, or self.

Ultimately, we will literally MOVE MOUNTAINS... once we discover and master the keys.

Imagine what worlds this could open up. We could clean up world pollution, end poverty and suffering, heal all disease, transform wasteland, control climate, change landmasses, travel anywhere... instantly.

How long will it take? Much of that is up to us.

When can we handle it?

Rage, Betrayal, and Hate

Rage, betrayal, and hate. Powerful words. Powerful emotions.
Possibly more powerfully destructive than any other...
and powerfully creative...
if faced with love.

Have you been betrayed by a spouse, a boss, a parent, a peer...
or by God?
How did you feel? What did you do? What did you consider doing?

Urge to kill?
Worse?

Yeah...

Consider those with a lifetime of such betrayals...
or many lifetimes.
Any wonder why certain conflicts and horrors seem endless...
and irreparable?

Why have the best minds on Earth failed to help?

Why have the best minds often succumbed to rage and hate themselves?

Is there any hope?

Has government, academia, religion, or business made any progress?

Have doctors, drugs, counselors, and social workers made significant progress?

Why does a country with incredibly high education, resources, and technology suffer increasing rates of terrorism, suicide, violence, depression, malnutrition, and illness?

Is it time to look "outside the box"?

Are we WILLING to look "outside the box"?

Are we willing to LISTEN "outside the box"...
if it's not what we like?

Ponder that awhile.

Sometimes new answers (or TRUTH) incite even MORE rage...

"The truth shall set you free...
but it'll make you damn mad first"

So who has these new answers...
or TRUTH?

Or could the answers already be here and visible...
but poorly practiced?

Is loving enemies a key?
Or even non-enemies?
How many have mastered it?

I call to the soul of America...
and Americans
to take the first step
and make the commitment

I call to America
to join hands with others
in this true quest for freedom
from the enemy within

I call to America
to put this in writing
as a collective
and as individuals

I call to America
to ring that new bell
of truth, liberty, and FREEDOM
FREEDOM, FREEDOM, FREEDOM

THEN we can work together
for the most worthwhile of causes
solving ALL our problems
in a way that has hope

How long will it take?
Is it just another ruse?
What does your heart say?
What does your God say?

Free at last?
Free at last?
Thank God
We are free at last?

Miracle Healing of People and Planet

Miracle healing... is this another witchdoctor scam?
I will share with you my own observations and experiences (extensive),
and let you decide.

I may be in the running for the most types of healings explored and experienced...
and still not close to exhausting the possibilities.
Are there instant cures for everything? Sometimes.
Are there lots of dead-ends? Absolutely

This is an incredibly complex and controversial topic... that I will only scratch the surface of.

Many (including myself) believe that healing the planet begins with healing the self (i.e. rage, hate, fear, denial, etc.). No amount of money, effort, laws, etc. will resolve war, poverty, pollution and other planetary ills until we've made the first critical step of self-examination, followed by commitment to change. THEN, miracles can flow... on all levels.

How to best heal the self is the difficult part. I have never been more challenged by anything else in my life... especially when the healing appears to require changing someone or something else (i.e. "out there"). Many believe that one's outer world (i.e. relationships and circumstances) are simply a reflection of one's inner state of being... that we attract to ourselves problems and opportunities to heal... self and world.

That's the part many reject and run from... especially when ugly.

Yet... THAT is perhaps the BIGGEST step towards healing... when one accepts responsibility for one's own reality... and the power to change it.

"Our biggest problems are our biggest opportunities"

Have I mastered my own problems yet? No way.
Have I learned or progressed much? Absolutely
...but I've also created some huge new problems

I HAVE learned a vast amount about holistic healing and other fields that contribute to healing. And I've been awestruck by the possibilities before us, and equally awestruck by how the majority still clings to expensive and ineffective approaches while rejecting many new approaches that might produce miracles... but also requiring work, faith, and risk of being wrong (even if low risk to health).

Rather than review this vast field, I suggest reviewing the links for Miracle Healing in this site, or visiting the many expos available on these topics (e.g. Whole Life Expo).

May God, heart, and intuition be your guides.

Betrayal of Silence -
Deadliest of ALL

This subject takes me to my most painful and sensitive core... and what may be the core of humanity's challenge... betrayal of silence.

I ask for your greatest of compassion and patience as I journey into horror of horrors, torment beyond torment, anguish indescribable. This is the path that took a brilliant balanced boy to insanity and despair... pleading God to eliminate his soul... and cursing him for betrayal and abandonment.

May his story be a catalyst for new healing... of him, you, and world.

Where to begin? So complex.

Perhaps with the eight year boy described in Part I of Quixote's story... an incredibly happy and successful boy... loved by all... and in love with life. A life-changing event happened that year, that still is largely not understood by his adult mind (i.e. me)... his father lost his sight... and more (i.e. other life threatening health issues). And he was betrayed by an insurance agent... leaving him without money, in addition to his means of making a living. The stress was unbelievable.

My parents grasped for practical to spiritual solutions... with little success. I prayed every night for years for God to restore his sight... with no response... not even an explanation. Eventually I gave up... and pretty much gave up on God.

My trust shifted to the secular and practical (i.e. intellect, hard work, etc.)... and I succeeded extremely well. Even my family pulled together by similar means to create a reasonably happy and successful environment.

But the deadly seeds of betrayal had been planted... and only fully sprouted four decades later.

Along that four decade journey, other deadly betrayals were added... usually without knowing... from those I loved and trusted most... even myself.

Several were added in teen years when I made some indescretionary choices that later haunted me... with no warnings or guidance from God, self, or others.

Another came when I made a career choice way below my potential... choosing to be an ordinary engineer, when I was qualified to be professor in virtually any field (straight A's in all subjects)... with very inadequate guidance from God, self, or others.

Another came when I chose a spouse that later became perhaps the most deadly of choices... again without guidance or warnings from God,self, or others.

Yet another came when my choices and actions in my career dramatically differed from views of several bosses and subordinates... but with no direct or timely feedback (from them, God, or self).

And the worst came when I finally DID get a huge wake-up call that all was not well... but still got very poor feedback on what exactly was wrong, and what was needed... from God, self, and others.

Adrift in a storm... without guidance, crew, or ship.

And only the first of four long intense storms...
each getting worse...
making blunder after blunder...
each causing the next

Yet...
something always appeared
to keep me going
discovering vast new worlds
and vast new life

I sense that now...
more than ever before...
new life before me...
and before our world...
if we reach for new thinking...
and new loving...
and drop our old ways.

I wonder how Columbus felt
as he ventured toward "the edge"

I wonder how Moses felt
as he wandered for so long

I wonder how Jesus felt
as he volunteered to "die"

I wonder if they felt betrayed
by God, self, and others

I wonder if they felt anguish
for errors they had made

I wonder if they felt abandoned
by that they trusted most

What kept them going?
What gave them strength?

What kept ME going
when all seemed lost?

What keeps me going
when grief rips my soul?

What keeps YOU going
when life makes no sense?

What keeps LIFE going
when insanity abounds?

Who are the sane ones?
And who's right to judge?
It's time to look closely
And give self a nudge

What is most needed
in this perilous of storms?
And who has the wisdom
to lead the vast hordes?

Perhaps it is time
for ALL to share lead
as part of the ONE life
in which we all be

Perhaps it is time
to trust a new source
the source deep within
and chart a new course

Perhaps it is time
to connect ALL the parts
of this being called life
and its glorious art

Perhaps it is time
to see light in ALL
even the "evil" ones
angels of "the fall"

Perhaps it is time
to dance with our dragons
and thank them sincerely
for giving us balance

Are you willing to risk
the loss of one life
as true heroes do
birthing NEW life?

Go deep in your heart
to find what is true
and let go of fears
that block real truth

Yes, listen to others
for what they hold true
But don't assume their truth
is just right for you

A new age is dawning
that many foretold
They want us to grow now
and fly on our own

Perhaps their "betrayals"
were gifts in disguise
to unlock self-knowing
needing fire to arise

Perhaps those we hate
are those to love most
for what they have given
and what THEY need most

What do you say
oh seekers of life
Will you rise to the challenge
and shine forth your light?

Listen to the words
of songs you hold dear
and ask what they really mean
and bring your God near

Why?

Why did you leave me
so many times
to flounder and blunder
to scream, curse, and cry?

I asked for your help
I searched everywhere
for answers and coaching
They seldom were there

I committed my soul
to help and improve
myself and others
and especially you

What did I get?
Poor teachers and books
who claimed to be experts
hiding behind looks

Only much later
did I realize the truth...
They led me far deeper
into hell and MIStruth

The most pious of Christians
hurt me the worst
using the scriptures
to build their own worth

New Agers were better
but still full of fluff
with many fancy words
but little real stuff

Is this my test?
To trust myself?
To seek real answers
from MY higher self?

I've tapped divine truth
many many times
but doubted my wisdom
versus slick shallow minds

I ache for the pain
of my sisters and brothers
I hurt even worse
for the pain of Earth Mother

I now know the path
to healing and truth
and real inner freedom
It begins with "you"

The "you" is I
the "I" is we
We all are one
We all are thee

Arriving Where I Started

The words of T.S. Eliot have buzzed my head for years, especially the last few weeks:

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time

What a profound summary of life...
especially if that return is repeated over and over...
each time gaining new insight...
experiencing new aspects...
BEING new life.

My own spiral journey has returned me many times to places and feelings of my past ... stunned at my change of perspective and experience.

I see humanity on such a collective journey as well... now at a return point of more significance than any time in the history of this planet (which goes WAY beyond conventional written history). Humanity has repeated cycles of expansion/contraction, creation/destruction, and growth/decay many times... some being VERY extreme... e.g. Atlantis, Lemuria. Cycles elsewhere in the universe have been even more extreme.

Almost all spiritual traditions point to this time as the end of our system... at least as we know it. Some forecast 1000 years of peace. Some forecast total destruction. Some say it's now up to us (humanity)... the greatest free will experiment in the history of the universe.

How much choice DO we have?
What CAN we expect?
What do we want?

Many paint pictures of blissful peace
in heavenly gardens
with smiles on everyone.

Is that YOUR view of heaven on earth?

Many (including me) would tire quickly of such "paradise".
Some (or most) of us thrive on diversity, challenge, and change,
but often deny it when we're "in the fire".

Many even thrive on the chaos, fear, and pain of war.
But even more of them deny it.

So again I ask: "What DO we want and need?"
How much consensus do we need?

I would like major public discussion and dreaming on this...
using a new Declaration of Independence, Constitution, and Bill of Responsibilities as the vehicles.

Personally, I see certain forms of conflict, competition, and problems as extremely healthy and stimulating... e.g. respecting free will, mutually agreed upon rules, etc. Why do you think competitive sports draw so many? Even marital and political conflicts can be life-giving.

However... most of humanity has not reached this enlightened level of conflict and competition... still repeating the timeless cycle of win/lose, fight/flight, blame/punish, etc.

BUT...
great new hope and pioneers have emerged in all areas of life...
to light new ways...

to arrive where we started
and know it for the first time

My Now-possible Dream

May we face our dragons
with newfound courage
seeking to slay them
with love... not scourge

May we truly learn to dance
in a way never seen
transcending the traps
that we now find obscene

May we honor and heal
those heroes of past
who dared to challenge
accepted normal crap

May we bless the goddess
that frightened Christians killed
and discover new magic
becoming highly skilled

May we change our Mem' Day
from honoring war and killin
to rewarding higher courage:
taming demons... deep within us

This is my quest
to seek this new star
no matter how hopeless
no matter how far

To find REAL love
that few have thus far
hidden deep in the caverns
of despair, dread, and dark

To transmute my blunders
into shining gold light
for others to follow
if only they might

This is my dream
to BE that bright star
for the broken and hopeless
Help them find who they are

-Crazy Carl Quixote
5/31/04

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Launch Event Proposal	Keynote Speech Proposal	Who, What, Why We Are	Declaration of Independence II	Dream of Dreams	Trail of Tears
New National Monument	Dept of Peace, Love, & Well-being	New Constitution	Acknowledgments	Links and Bridges	Contact
Projects	Future Plans	Forums	Bill of Responsibilities	Support	HOME